Dear Friends,
It is with great sorrow that we inform you of the passing of Elizabeth Shinouda on April 22, 2010, after her valiant struggle with cancer. Please share this announcement with anyone you believe would like to know.
(I apologize in advance to the many of you that deserve my personal thanks and invitations. I will try to catch up on individual communication when I get the chance.)
I hope you will be comforted to know that she passed on her own terms—peacefully, enjoying a beautiful Spring in our New Paltz home, surrounded by family and friends.
She leaves a legacy of a lifetime of quiet wisdom, caring, curiosity, generosity, playfulness, and integrity which deeply touched the lives of her daughter, Marguerite, siblings Margaret and Mac, nephews Jeffrey and Skip, numerous friends, neighbors, as well as patrons and co-workers from her time as Manager of the Douglaston Branch of the Queens Borough Public Library.
We welcome you to celebrate her life with us in any or all of the following ways:
1. Her Memorial Service was:
Saturday June 5, 20102:00 Service, 3:00ish Reception
Unitarian Universalist Congregation of the Catskills
320 Sawkill Road
Kingston NY 12401
(845) 331-2884
Please let us know if you have a short story of mom you would like to share and we will add it to the website.
2. We are building a memorial gazebo and garden for Elizabeth . So if you wish to send flowers, please send plantable seedlings or bulbs, that way your contributions will be enjoyed for many years to come.
3. We know that the service will be far away for many of you, so if you can't make it we'll understand. But a contribution that you can still make that will really, really, *really* mean a lot to us... is pictures and stories about mom. We are putting together a memorial website for her and I would love to have more to share about all parts of her life. We're trying to have it ready by June 5 so please send as soon as you can.
You can email, snail mail, or phone your pictures and stories to...
admin@LizShinouda.com
www.LizShinouda.com
Marguerite and Margaret
What Happened?
Mom didn't want to burden you with the details of her illness. She felt like she had let you down by being away so long. And she always intended to come back.
In brief... she had cancer for which she received a round of treatment last summer. The cancer was beaten back only to resurge aggressively in October. I tracked down a very hopeful "alternative" cure in Los Angeles called hyperthermia, and we went out at the end of November. The whole team of doctors, nurses, and staff were wonderful. I highly recommend the Valley Cancer Institute www.vci.org to anyone in a similar predicament. The tumor was shrinking well and everything was looking very hopeful... until mom had a blood clot, and then an allergic reaction to cumidin which shut down her kidneys, and then she had to get dialysis three times a week on top of 2 hours of hyperthermia every day. Even though the tumor was still shrinking and her kidneys were starting to recover, she just got fatigued. She fought on as long as she could. She always wanted to get back to her family and friends and work and life in Queens.
Until one day she told me she wouldn't go to dialysis any more. I said, "Do you know what that means?" and she said, "Yes, I know what that means."
Then I asked her if she was okay with it, and she said, "I'm much better with it than you are." And that was the truth. She was at peace with her decision and much calmer than I was about her entering her next life.
We hired a private "air ambulance," a Lear jet that was fitted out as an ambulance, and brought her home to Upstate New York. It was a risk flying her home, but I am so glad we did. Mom made the trip like a trooper without any glitches in heart rate or blood pressure. The ambulance brought her all the way home and put her in bed. For her last 9 days we were surrounded by the blooming trees and flowers of a gorgeous spring. More importantly, family and friends surrounded us every day.
She was calm and peaceful and even got mischievous towards the end; we ate all our favorite forbidden foods, she cheated at cards, she ordered me to move her bed up, then down, then up again. I asked her if she was playing with me, and she just laughed. She would poke me in the ribs at four in the morning and say "wake up and play with me." There was a hidden childlike side of mom that came out to play big time.
Mom is one of the kindest, most noble people I have ever known. And she has been my best friend. I miss her physical presence dearly. But I still feel her everywhere around me. And she's still up to mischief like flicking the lights on and off, or letting birds into the house, just to let me know she's still here.
Thanks in advance for participating any way you can. Again we'd especially appreciate any pictures or stories you can send us (or leave on voice mail.) And mostly for the camraderie you shared with mom.
Blessings,
Marguerite and Margaret